Monday, October 04, 2004

sigh. so tired nowadays. exams only second day. well. let's skip exams thing. waited for her today. sigh. why must i always see such things? is it really so qiao? as you always said? i will never know but i choose to trust you and remain quiet, i rather be quiet then quarrel. remembered when i protest when i saw her , her friend and a guy chatting away happily. i rather be quiet then get the same treatment. it's better swallowing everything myself. sigh. i will lose the ability to speak up. to fight back. i will just be. be some one who will gives in everytime. give me the time to adapt to this change. and soon you shall see. well. exams are near i do not expect much time for her to spend with me too. but it's like 5 mintues. and she brings out everything to stop me. hai. why must she always leave me standing alone there. without saying anything to bid me good bye. just leave me standing there. what if i don't survive the crossing of the road. will she regret? sigh. i don't want holidays. i told her. she sent me a web sms saying : 'don lyk hol? i don even care if u lyk it or nort lor.. u lyk jiu lyk.. don lyk jiu don lyk.. nth for me to be unhappy about. ' sigh. it will be saved in my phone. hai. you know what i fear? i fear that you will not make up to me. that you will continue going out with your friends more then you go out with me as usual. you will be neglecting me like how i have been getting. i want time. but yet she want her friends too. i don't have much time left. can't she see? what if we entered different schools. she can have all the time with your friends. while i am not with her. hai. i will my time. where is my time. why can't i be the one whom you go out with more? tell me. sigh. slowly. i will just lie low and keep quiet. then i can enjoy seeing the smile on your face..yet nor being able to smile with you. sigh.