long time no blog. shall post above christmas eve / christmas.

went out with darling on christmas eve. to marina square. quarreled even on christmas eve's morning just because i did not sleep but instead stay up whole night to wait for her. if i sleep who knows if i will even wake in the afternoon to go out. so nevermind. effort un-appreciated. so head down to marina square. long queues for tickets. bought night at the museum. not bad sits in the back row. not a bad movie. was very funny. it was about a guy who is jobless. and wanted to impress his son with his current job. a security guard at the museum. the strange thing about this museum is that everything comes to life at night. because of a dunno wad tablet la. then so everything comes to life. this guy have to stop them from leaving the museum. if not all turns into dust. then there was 3 former security guards which tried to steal the tablet. and the current one got it back. and the movie was over then. after the movie which was already 8+ went to the fountain of wealth to meet up with patricia irene pamela and benny. head to the food court to have dinner. then went to walk around the fountain of wealth. it's not my idea anyway. after that. had coffee at mac cafe. if not i am gonna fall asleep soon. and go to the esplanade. was quite boring. no exact countdown. just different count downs from differnt groups . no light displays too. the lights are just there. not switched on. unless you wanted to see lights display literally. the lights are there. went home after that as darling cant stay long after. reached home at around 2+darling gave me sweets + a boxers. so cute. anyway. something stupid happened at marina anyway. we were approached by this bridal photoshoot agency. and their sweet talking skills are superb. and i nearly wanted to sign up for it. lol. but darling do not want it anyway.






cookies


jelly

that's the end of christmas eve. christmas. slept till 5+ met darling at night to fetch her home and that's it..



now yesterday. went to escape theme park yesterday.. with pamela irene benny patricia darling and me. was raining on and off. so did not get to play alot. went deaf after most of the rides as the one sitting beside me was darling. and her screams was.. yea. like akasha in dota. rofl. and got a ride called wet and wild thingy. which really got me wet all over. had to dry myself in the toilet. and what's worse is the water on the ride is damn dirty and smelly. so make sure you bring another set of clothes. left at 6 close to 7. the others left. brought darling to the beach behind escape. was very cold and windy. found a sit and sat down. talked to her. darling helped me wipe my wet feet. rofl =x it's a good place to hang out.. left at around 8+? then head down to jurong point for dinner. slept from pasiris till boonlay on darling's shoulder. lol. was tired la. =x had the sweet and sour chicken hot plate and darling had her's. went home after that. and darling gave me another boxers. rofl. this one has her name on it.

yay. happy 3rd month. but i am spending it alone in singapore.

i am so bored. maple and dota seems bored because of the rain. it had been raining for the whole day and the weather is so cold. i wonder if it is raining as badly as it is in singapore as it is in malaysia.

nothing much to blog about today. let's talk about families^^

who does not love to be part of a happy family. yea. like those you see on tv shows. early morning. mother wakes to make breakfast. and proceed to wake up the children and husband to eat what she prepares. husband goes to work after it. and the kids get to do what they want after that. this is what i call a happy family. where every one agrees with one another. supports their decision and most importantly peace among each other. let's not talk about those on tv shows. i am sure in this world there are families like this. or rather there are such families in singapore. i really admire these families. how they got their family to live in harmony under 1 roof.

well. i happen to be born into a totally different family enviroment. every day you wake up. you go through shit before you go to sleep. well. at least it is that way for me. i wake up. and go through all this shit. it is not easy being in this family. i have a family of 4. dad mum sis and me. just a small family living in a hdb flat. there is always just enough food on the table. not more. maybe some times less. i dunno. so to sum it up. we are not rich. nor are we poor. maybe just a little.

i guess the main problem with this family of mine is the lack of money. well. maybe money to you guys might not be everything, but to this family of mine. it is.you see, my dad is a taxi driver. he pays 90 dollar rental. 30 dollars guess PER DAY. that is excluding other expenses like phone bills and our expenses. my mum works as a cashier? or something in the kopitiam. she never mentions about her pay. she seldoms help in the house's expenses anyway. my sister is in her poly 1st year now. works during last holidays. is rich. but still leeches off dad. and alot of it .

now that you know the problem, let's talk about what is happening in my life. i am seldom on good terms with the 3 of them. first of all. my sister. she thinks she is god. and directs my parents around. her problem is well, thinking she is god. some times she acts as a winged messenger too. getting information about my life and leaking it out to my parents. so they know what i am doing. and proceed to pick on me. the main reason she is still here being able to get me into deep shit is of course the support of my parents. that's basically my sister's role. finding the chance to screw me.

next my mum. she does not care much about me. just nags occasionally and reporting every single movement to my life's dictactor. my dad of course. i guess i am a super endangered species. my movement is under 24 hours survelliance. what to do? i was born into this.

and then. the once who thinks he own my life. every night. without fail, he will pick on me. what for? i do not know. he pick on me after hearing complains from my mother and sister. well. he is not a well brought up guy. he scolds me using vulgar. insults me. and misunderstood me all along. i dunno what does he wants from me. nor do i know what do i want from him. i just want some one who can respect me and my decisions and support them. not trying to tell me what to do and comparing me to every other teenager every single time. this makes me feel so inferior. but nvm. he stops everything i am doing all the time. he is such a pain in the neck. i believe i am a pain in the neck to him as well. so why can't we just not cross each other's path. but NO. he cant get his nose ( and the other 2 noses) out of my life. he insists that everyone in this family have the right to pick on me. just that they are older then me. but so wad if they are older. i am already 16 and know what is right and wrong. being older means nothing. it only means that you guys will die before me. so this dad of mine. just keeps listening to what they tell him. and proceed to wreck my life. the worse thing is. whenever he talks to me. he shouts. and i cant talk back. he will only shout louder. so imagine guys. what it feels like to have totally no say in your family. some times people just never think. when your son cannot sleep at night. he will naturally play some games on the computer. but yet this guy here. scolds his son for not sleeping. what logic is it. he rather me watch the tv(using the same amount of electricity) then use my com. he claims that using com for too long spoils my eye. wad about watching tv? totally no logic. what's worse is he wants me to work. with so little money per day. the money i get can barely cover transport fees. i dun even get money to top up my ezlink card. yet he dun want me stay at home to use my com. and i cant go out. see? how this things contradict themselves.?

some times i step back and look on the smaller picture. the 3 of them without me. beautiful. everyone can suck up to everyone. gaining personal benefits. then i wont be sabotaged. and probably feel much better.

alright. much more to post. but dun feel like going on. it's still raining hours after it started. what luck. and oh yes. the one who thinks she is god will probably find this post and show it to the dictactor again. and no prizes for guessing what i will get again from him. =)



yea. happy 3rd month once again.

finally! i have my own noise space! i dont care anymore! weee~ it's in my room and i dun care how loud my music is.. =D

why cant both sides just understand me? why cant both sides just understand? why cant both sides try to understand. why cant both sides stop giving me all these trouble. i have to endure your attitude and his scoldings everynight. his insults. your attitude.. i cant take all this.. even you who is suppose to be the one whom i confide in is treating me like this. everynight. i stare out of that kitchen window. thinking of how more worse things can get. and sure it does comes true the night after. where's my joy as a teenager? sigh.

just back about and hour ago from town. went vivo with fg thomas zicong alfred qiyi and hanzhong. actually is meet 2.30pm at boonlay mrt. but end up no one go! so thomas came my house. he up load songs into his NEW J2 MP3 PLAYER. lol. costs alot okay. expensive stuff. =x so after uploading songs. we went to jp control to meet the others. and went to vivo to meet zijiong and alfred. ate macdonalds. and go walk around. vivo was not very crowded today. and can clearly see that vivo does not have much things to see. so we went down to somerset instead. that stupid fg. did not took same train as us because he did not board it in time. reach town at 10+ wen e2max and played lan. played cs la. long time no play . rusty le.. but me fg and alfred won qiyi thomas and zijiong. lol. yay. =x after that we walked to the bus stop. only to our horror we realise that there was no more bus service! so some idiot( i think fg) came up with the idea of walking home. alright. so we walked. and walked. and walked. after like 20mintues? we reached orchard mrt station. there was this fugging dumb ad. where it shows a face with eyeballs. but there was no pupils. wonder if it is just us or that ad. so we all freak out la! we ran. then push each other along the road.then ambulance and police car passed us. fg again suggested we go see who is fighitng. -_- but we did not la! walked pass four seasons hotel. wanted to get a maxi cab.but that cab is 47 bucks per trip. so we did not. walked on till tanglin mall. and wanted to contiue walking. but qiyi wants to take a cab. so we took a cab home instead. alright. the end!




i miss you darling! come back quick!

went out with CZC ytd. went vivo suntec and marina. interview. need try out de. so sian le. did not go. CZC was fugging lame. he is goign to show me how he enlarge his butt with paper tomorrow when we go out. okay. lol the end!

been long since i felt this way. you know. i never cry for anything. when it comes to you. everything changes. nights..

who shall be here? i have no one to confide in. wat are you doing? while i take this mess alone.. oh well.

went out ytd. to marina square. watched happy feet. went home after that. sorry about pouring green tea into your shirt. was an accident. but dont you think your tone. your reactions were way too harsh? alright.


you annouced me dead.