another normal day. is it just me or are we on really good terms for today? i guess it's that we are on good terms today ba. accompanied her home after school. saw her in hall just now dunno doing what to another guy. so i asked and i got my answer. sigh. *stabs myself* nvm. i tolerate. was feelin so so jealoused.. but what can i do. start another quarrel? of course not. i kept quiet board the bus and i accidently did some thing which irritated her. i apologise. but also no use.. kanna attitude for whole bus ride. and she lied to me she is not jealous or angry. which i do not believe. apologised again. she accepted le. she apologise too. i accepted too. then we go talk talk. talk about how she is going to go out with friends during exams period next friday when i had not go out with her for dunno how long le. she told me maybe she will not be going. but. i predict it won't happen. it's her best boy friend after all. last time another best boy friend also must she go le. talk till half way she said something which really hurt me. why must him be taken out as an example all the time? why him. i understand he is ur 2nd stead while i am just the 3rd. why must he be taken out all the time. do u still speak about him as often? do u still contact him? why remind me he is coming back in november? is she anticipating his return? the return of some one who speaks bad of me? of some one who does not even exsists? sigh. she has fallen in love so deeply with him i guess. till a point she broke with me because of that imaginary guy. hai. what can i do. i did not voice out. just kept quiet and let my tears flow inwards. jealously. sigh. how worse can it get? tell me. i really might explode if i keep too much. but yet she do not want me to say out. hai. then that hypocrite. sigh. why must he care so much. why.. why does he interfere so much. i placed a curse on a voodoo doll and ripped it apart hoping it was him. but once again. i know no black magic. and my dream of tearing him apart was not fufilled. he really make me feel so jealous. so insecure. hai. flowing inwards.

sigh. wo tai ke lian le. zhen de hao ke lian. pathetic. having troubles with her le. blog.. if only u can be some one i can talk to. i have lesser people to talk to nowadays le. how how.. finally we are ok le. after 6 days of quarreling. so so so happy. offered her my shoulder. and she took it. i was so happy. that my tears flowed inwards. today tuition till 4+ pm. reached home sms her le. she online so i went to look for her online. found out that some one also online. asked if they talk. well to no surprise they did talked. about me and her some more. i asked her explain she phrase it as asking that guy put himself in my shoes. what does it means? that she ask the guy imagine that he is her stead ma? how can like this de.. so totally unfair. well i asked her explain. and she got angry le. quarrel again. less then 12 hours of our make up. and we quarreled. hai. then called her so many times all she purposely dun want to pick up. still got 2 or 3 times press busy tone on purpose. sigh. called her home engage wor. why leh? not people using. it is because she hang up the phone to prevent me from calling her house. i got angry and went to find her. hit with hurricane yvonne's attitude. it swept past in less then 2 mins and it cause un recoverable damage to me. sigh. if it was really nothing. why the hiding? why the avoiding of calls? i see no reason to do so. why? you could not answer. then went back home to bathe. walked in. turn on the shower and stood there for 10 mintues.i don't even bother removing my clothes. just stood there wondering why must my baby hurt me so much. then 7 le i go eat. went out find her again. fetch her from tuition. she looks so happy. first thing she did was to cling on to me. i was surprised. how come her anger was so fast dissolved this time. weird. once again it might be of another thing which i should not be allowed to know. fetch her back home and i walked home chatting on the phone with her. i controled myself i fought back what i am suppose not to do. reached home. found out that hypocrite also praise her for being cute and chio. sigh. i never knew this. and she must be hiding it for very long already. why. why can't that hypocrite understand she is my stead and he should not say such things? is he out to make me jealous and make us quarrel so that we will break and they can be together ma? sigh. tell me why. i was so jealoused. how can he say such things to my dear. there must be more like can u be my stead this kind of things which he asked and she hidden from me. i know de, every despo guy will say such things. i am so jealous. but what can i do. i don't want to spoil our good relationship over a third party. but that hypocrite just gets involved with her too many times. he just keeps saying things to her which she is keeping from me. sigh. why can't i have the right to know such things. such things which he say. to her which are not even allowed when she have a stead. so jealous. sigh. i do not dare voice out.. end ba. i hate u hypocrite. i beg you le. please let me and her go. stop wooing her. stop saying such things. leave us and most importantly leave her alone. go be a gay or what i don't care. sigh. just get the fuck out of her life. i'm so jealoused.

+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
did u thhought of blaming brendan for talking to u all then?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
of cos nort
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
its nort his fault at all
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
then i jealous my fault
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
that day
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
i really dunno what's happening right
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
i come down bus
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
see u all laughing and talking dere
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
u looking at bus stop opposite also dun walk over
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
IF i really was at the bus stop , then u no see then i will be waiting while u finish talking to another guy about some non study stuffs
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
can like this say>?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
of cos cannort
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
y?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
cos i wasn't the one talking to him
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
it was adeline
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
i was jus waiting for adeline
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
to walk to bus stop together
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
um
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
u laughed
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
AND
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
can u be sure u did not talk to him?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
wads wrong with laughing? talk to him also cannort isit
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
if u were not involved in what they were doing
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
then what were u laughing at?
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
can u be sure u did not talk to him?

|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
forget it
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
cos i wasn't the one talking to him

+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
can u be sure u did not talk to him?

+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
if u were not involved in what they were doing
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
then what were u laughing at?

+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
well
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
answer me then
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
I TELL U.. I DID TALK TO HIM. SO WAD? JEALOUS ISIT. ITS JUST MINOR STUFFS.
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
?
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
cos i wasn't the one talking to him

+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
and this was?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
IT WAS WHILE WAITING
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
while waiting for?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
adeline lar
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
oh
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
brendan was showing things to her
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
so waiti finish adeline and him talk le
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
i mean they show things finish liao
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
so u talked to him?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
I DID TALK TO HIM
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
ic
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
dun understand why u just now say no while waiting and can be so sure
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
forget it lar
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
u don get wad i mean
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
cos i wasn't the one talking to him
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
it was adeline
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
i was jus waiting for adeline
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
to walk to bus stop together
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
so they talking finish
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
and u wait finish
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
aren't u suppose to go to the bus stop instead of talking to him?
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
dun blame me for not understanding hor
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
i was tlak ting to him b4 he showed adeline stuffs
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
i trying to get it clear now
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
wadevar
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
even if i talk also no wrg
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
i just wan know if u talked
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
i also no say wrong
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
its jus u who get so uptight oer little things
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
so answer me now? did u talked to him?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
u make me wan to hide things from u.. u make me don wan to tell u things.
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
i hate to tell thingst to u
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
so answer me now? did u talked to him?

|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
cos u nv understand
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
i dun need u to tell me all those
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
answer me can le ma
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
DID TALK LAR
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
ic
+nIcLvOn+itneverend+numb[[hhao aii nii``]] n i j i u s h i w o d e w e i y i says:
so why in first place when i no ask if u can be sure then why u straight tell me u were not the one talking to him?
|l VoNz l| [Y.I.P.P rox]+-vOnLnIc-+itsnorttheend+ [[wo aii ni``]] woyaoshouhuzheni.. says:
bye

worse then ever.. sigh. wo you ku le. such weak me.

started this new blog today. guess it will be where i post my unhappiness le. dun wanna pollute the other blog which i started. well. where should i start. life's in a mess. relationship's in a mess. what can i do? who can i turn to? no one. i can only blog here. well. things started to get nasty since we patch again. well. exams are near. i know she will neglect me. but why can't she at least treasure the least time we are having today. sigh. right after 11th month. she told me she was going meet a cher for homework during recess. when i go down find out. she was asking a guy. sigh. maths? blame myself for being stupid then. that's why i cant help her with maths. then she said i did not trust her. i go down check on her. when my real reason for g oing down is just to remind her i meeting her later. is that even wrong? friday. she told me she going stay back til 3.30. i waited for her. in the end when i was about to reach the meeting spot. i saw her with her best friend laughing away heartily together with a guy. to me. you know? it seems like my stead is flirting with another guy. and what's worse is i could not get jealous. i will only get ignore. get her attitude. sigh, what should i do? i really tried to prevent myself from saying it out. but my face shows all emotions. sigh. till saturday. attitude and ignoring me. till sunday. well. same thing. but. she hung my phone. was it necessary? i don't think so. u broke what u broke. u made me thing u are really cheating on me. sigh. put urself in my shoes would ya? i shall end le. anyway. time to look for some skins to use.